Hep! Hep! I Stuck!

That is what my youngest grandson Justin was yelling Saturday afternoon.  I came running from the kitchen into the living room where he was playing!  As I was running, I could hear my husband roaring with laughter, so I assumed it couldn't be too horribly serious.  Sure enough, Justin was standing on his head in my recliner and couldn't figure out how to get out of the position.  About another hour later there was the same cry, "Hep! Hep! I stuck!"  This time he had tried to slide under the TV stand to get a toy out from under it.  Most people would have tried to reach under it with their arms but not Justin.  When I walked into the living room all I could see of him was from the waist up. "Hep, Nana! I stuck!"  Again, my husband was sitting in his chair grinning from ear to ear.  I reached down and grabbed Justin by the hands and just slid him out from under the TV stand.  He took off to see what other situation he could get into.  Life is never dull with a two year old around for entertainment.

But, right now I'm feeling like I need to yell out, "Hep! Hep! I'm stuck".  I'm in the middle of a creative project and that is just the way I'm feeling.  I started this strippy top with lots of enthusiasm and ideas.  It has gone through a 1" wide strip phase, to a Bargello patchwork phase and back to a stripped variable width, but narrower than 1" phase and I feel like I'm getting no where.  Every book I've ever read by a fabric artist and every video I've seen by a fabric artist all say the same thing, "Just take the fabric and play with it until you get what you like."  I think what I am learning is that I don't know how to play, or I don't like playing.  I am not really comfortable with "going with the flow".  I want to make a plan and have it turn out like I planned it the first time.  I don't expect to execute that plan and then not like it and have to change it into something else.

Secondly, my time is very limited and playing with the fabric and changing my mind every five minutes takes lots of time, which I don't have.  I love the process of fitting and making the pattern. But this playing thing takes too much time. I can easily spend two weeks altering a pattern until it fits me.  But that I think out and figure out what I need to do and then do it.  But this artistic thing is just too much for me.

After two weeks this is all that I have.  It isn't even wide enough for half of the front.  Of course, I have been hampered by a case of allergic conjunctivitis, according to my doctor.  In other words, last week my allergies went wild causing my eye lids to swell up until I could barely open my eyes.  My vision was blurry, too.  I take allergy medicine everyday and use a steroid nasal spray, so why should my allergies be able to do that?  Mainly, I spent my evenings sitting with my eyes closed as much as possible last week.  I finally went to the doctor and he gave me a 'script for steroid drops to put into my eyes.  They are still super sensitive to light and tend to want to get blurry.  At least now I can sew again.

I've got a lot of time and fabric invested in this top, but I'm seriously wondering if I am going to finish it.  I'm not even sure I will like it if I do finish it.  I started this project as the answer to what to wear with a pair of pants that I made out of the dark green material.  It is a beautiful material, but just not a color that I want near my face unless I want everyone asking if I am sick..  I decided this morning that there was no reason that I couldn't wear the pants with a pink floral top so I wore them to work.  So, do I really need this top?  What to do; what to do?

Help! Help! I'm stuck!

Hugs, Phylly